A poem by my sweet cousin Joanna Dickman. She didn’t leave anything left to be said. I thank her for this beautiful gift.
And Out In
I stood behind my grandfather
in a chattering of freshly soul-fed friends
and clasped my hands around his middle,
my face resting on the worn blazer over his shoulder blade.
He turned his head to the side
spoke to me
and I told him I love you in his ear.
I felt his breath fill my arms,
the labor of a life
in this practiced pattern in
and out in
and out in
and knew some day would come.
when the news comes that
we only have him till July,
He is good stock.
He is made of oatmeal
and pickle vinegar
and beet juice
and the last of all the vegetables
and the marrow from every bone
and the meat from every lobster leg
and always milk never coffee,
always water never soda.
When they tell me his heart is tired,
He is made of farm land
of waking up with the sun
of working all day
of finishing high school early
of a degree in engineering
of being an engineer.
He is made of numbers and figuring
of problem solving,
of the mathematics that hold
a thing together to reach the moon,
and a family together to reach retirement.
He is made of sails
and tides and ocean
of latitude and longitude
of the wind in his hair,
of a wheel in his hands,
of charted and uncharted waters,
of charted and uncharted lands.
When they tell me this could be it,
this could be the last season, the last time,
He is one liners and deep smiles,
and five-word wisdom.
He is the pillar,
the anchor, the bulwark
the tide, the moon
He is made of real things.
They don’t make men like this anymore.
And no July,
no month, no date, no year.
None of them are enough to take him from us
to take the breath from his lungs
to make some day arrive.
It came as a quake,
something that is known
but never expected.
you can’t hear over your own breathing
you fight everything that touches you.
it keeps men talking at your back all night,
and puts forks in your eyes.
it pulls your family to your side.
The world was held together
by the continuous beeping of monitors,
by tape and gauze,
by sheer force of will–
the will of magnetic north,
of hurricanes and tornadoes,
of planetary rotation
And then the wind gave out
and out in
The compass started spinning.
The planet stopped turning.
Gravity let go.
And everything became a struggle.
When to wake up?
How to get out of bed?
Where to go?
And the world missed it.
People went about their lives,
and standing in lines,
cutting people off on the road,
flicking through radio stations,
making their coffee.
People everywhere continued,
going about their lives as if nothing had happened.
But the world is less now.
The spine of our family has been ripped out.
True north is gone.
The sun only rises out of habit,
and it’s getting later every day.
Tags: chores, get organized, homeschool days, magnets, Sciotch laminator
Tags: market umbrella redo, upcycling quilts
I’ve always wanted to redo a vintage market umbrella. Of course, in my mind it was made from the perfect well worn quilt. It was all in my mind- until now.
Tags: online course, rachel taylor, surface pattern design, UK designing
For the past several weeks, I have enjoyed taking an introductory course on surface pattern design. I stumbled on it when I was searching for craft business mentoring, craft related retreats, creative seminars- something, I was searching for something. I have been feeling a lack of focus on where I am headed with my business and creative direction. I came across Make It in Design’s Design School page. I researched it obsessively, looking at past alumni and everything they had to offer. I was hoping it would offer me an opportunity to put all of my creative energy into one place and let me be creative again with blinders on, so to speak. And that is exactly what it did for me.
It took a back to basics approach. Go outside. Find beauty and what inspires you. Now go recreate that in various forms. It is remarkably easy to forget that and so reinvigorating to recapture. This class brought me back to sketching, looking at things in new ways and finding unexpected beauty.
I am old school. I would rather write with a pencil than a keyboard. The thought of working in Photoshop and Illustrator was paralyzing. That’s what my husband is for! He builds my website, turns my scribbles into sewing pattern booklets and everything else I need. I’m lucky to be checking email! Depending on him has handicapped me and made me lazy to learn. This course slowly gets your feet wet in these applications and allows you to gradually build on what you are learning. The pace was just right for me.
I am looking forward to the upcoming modules of this course. I have learned so much and have enjoyed being a part of the wonderful community that it has provided.
Tags: hostess gifts, upcycled shirts, wine
A wine sleeve, in more ways than one!
Tags: maine gardening, seeds in egg cartons
I may be going overboard this year but I am hoping to do it right this gardening season.
Tags: free printable, scripture, spring art, typography
Even though there is literally a wall of snow out my door, I am ready to SPRING forward. The best start for me is to refresh my surroundings and my spirit. Besides the kitchen, my mantel is a place where I can continually express myself. I decorate living spaces for longevity so it’s nice to be able to switch up things according to quickly changing seasons and evolving moods and styles.
What says spring better than images of birds, nests, and new life, not to mention a refreshed relationship with God? This verse just speaks to me in times of anxiousness. I love simple typography as wall art. It just speaks for itself.
You can print one off for yourself HERE. Please print for personal use only.
This spring is just keeping us waiting. Waiting for the 5 foot snow heaps to be gone, waiting for the end of snowstorms, waiting for sunshine and longer days, but most importantly, waiting for our long expected baby!
I’ll keep you up to date!
Tags: dehydrator, dried fruit, homemade
I borrowed a dehydrator from a friend to see if I need one. I made raisins, banana chips and apple rings. While they are tasty, there are just some things that I’d rather buy. I have been enamored with making some of my own staple items, like yogurt and ricotta cheese.
I’m glad that I did it. I’m glad that I can. BUT- I keep thinking that for a couple of dollars more, I can buy some! The older I get, the more precious my time feels. I want to focus more on cooking the actual meals than the ingredients. Maybe someday I’ll get back to making everything from scratch but for now I’ll savor time with my darling, my babes and my horse!