goodbye grandpa.

September 15, 2014 at 9:19 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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A poem by my sweet cousin Joanna Dickman. She didn’t leave anything left to be said. I thank her for this beautiful gift.

And Out In

 

1.

I stood behind my grandfather

in a chattering of freshly soul-fed friends

and clasped my hands around his middle,

my face resting on the worn blazer over his shoulder blade.

He turned his head to the side

spoke to me

and I told him I love you in his ear.

I felt his breath fill my arms,

the labor of a life

in this practiced pattern in

and out in

and out in

and out.

I swallowed,

and knew some day would come.

 

2.

Years later,

when the news comes that

we only have him till July,

I scoff.

He is good stock.

He is made of oatmeal

and pickle vinegar

and beet juice

and the last of all the vegetables

and the marrow from every bone

and the meat from every lobster leg

and always milk never coffee,

always water never soda.

When they tell me his heart is tired,

I scoff.

He is made of farm land

of waking up with the sun

of working all day

of finishing high school early

of a degree in engineering

of being an engineer.

He is made of numbers and figuring

of problem solving,

of the mathematics that hold

a thing together to reach the moon,

and a family together to reach retirement.

He is made of sails

and tides and ocean

of latitude and longitude

of the wind in his hair,

of a wheel in his hands,

of charted and uncharted waters,

of charted and uncharted lands.

When they tell me this could be it,

this could be the last season, the last time,

I scoff.

He is one liners and deep smiles,

side-hug apologies

and five-word wisdom.

He is the pillar,

the anchor, the bulwark

the tide, the moon

the mountain.

He is made of real things.

They don’t make men like this anymore.

And no July,

no August,

no September,

no month, no date, no year.

None of them are enough to take him from us

to take the breath from his lungs

to make some day arrive.

 

3.

And then,

Dear God,

Someday arrived.

September

It came as a quake,

something that is known

but never expected.

So loud

you can’t hear over your own breathing

So rough

you fight everything that touches you.

So harsh

it keeps men talking at your back all night,

and puts forks in your eyes.

So scary

it pulls your family to your side.

 

The world was held together

by the continuous beeping of monitors,

by tape and gauze,

by sheer force of will–

the will of magnetic north,

of hurricanes and tornadoes,

of planetary rotation

of gravity.

 

And then the wind gave out

and out in

and out

and out.

The compass started spinning.

The planet stopped turning.

Gravity let go.

And everything became a struggle.

When to wake up?

How to get out of bed?

Where to go?

 

And the world missed it.

People went about their lives,

answering phones,

and standing in lines,

cutting people off on the road,

flicking through radio stations,

making their coffee.

People everywhere continued,

going about their lives as if nothing had happened.

 

But the world is less now.

The spine of our family has been ripped out.

True north is gone.

The sun only rises out of habit,

and it’s getting later every day.

chore charts!

August 18, 2014 at 4:26 pm | Posted in cleaning and organizing, kidstuff | Leave a comment
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made in the shade.

August 11, 2014 at 3:49 pm | Posted in reincarnate::giving old things new life::, sewing | Leave a comment
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I’ve always wanted to redo a vintage market umbrella. Of course, in my mind it was made from the perfect well worn quilt. It was all in my mind- until now.

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the art and business of surface pattern design.

May 7, 2014 at 7:38 am | Posted in inspiring sites | Leave a comment
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For the past several weeks, I have enjoyed taking an introductory course on surface pattern design. I stumbled on it when I was searching for craft business mentoring, craft related retreats, creative seminars- something, I was searching for something. I have been feeling a lack of focus on where I am headed with my business and creative direction. I came across Make It in Design’s Design School page. I researched it obsessively, looking at past alumni and everything they had to offer. I was hoping it would offer me an opportunity to put all of my creative energy into one place and let me be creative again with blinders on, so to speak. And that is exactly what it did for me.

It took a back to basics approach. Go outside. Find beauty and what inspires you. Now go recreate that in various forms. It is remarkably easy to forget that and so reinvigorating to recapture. This class brought me back to sketching, looking at things in new ways and finding unexpected beauty.

I am old school. I would rather write with a pencil than a keyboard. The thought of working in Photoshop and Illustrator was paralyzing. That’s what my husband is for! He builds my website, turns my scribbles into sewing pattern booklets and everything else I need. I’m lucky to be checking email! Depending on him has handicapped me and made me lazy to learn. This course slowly gets your feet wet in these applications and allows you to gradually build on what you are learning. The pace was just right for me.

I am looking forward to the upcoming modules of this course. I have learned so much and have enjoyed being a part of the wonderful community that it has provided.

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Wine Sleeve.

May 5, 2014 at 9:07 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Wine Sleeve.

A wine sleeve, in more ways than one!

Seed starting!

April 5, 2014 at 5:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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I may be going overboard this year but I am hoping to do it right this gardening season.

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making craft room bins.

April 2, 2014 at 11:07 pm | Posted in cleaning and organizing, reincarnate::giving old things new life:: | Leave a comment
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The combination of living in a small space and being a craft hoarder is a dangerous combination. I try to stay as organized as possible, for as cheap as I can get away with!
I covered these cardboard boxes with wrapping paper and added these simple touches. I am a huge believer that handmade doesn’t have to look homemade!

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spring wall art.

March 23, 2014 at 7:51 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Even though there is literally a wall of snow out my door, I am ready to SPRING forward. The best start for me is to refresh my surroundings and my spirit. Besides the kitchen, my mantel is a place where I can continually express myself. I decorate living spaces for longevity so it’s nice to be able to switch up things according to quickly changing seasons and evolving moods and styles. 

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What says spring better than images of birds, nests, and new life, not to mention a refreshed relationship with God? This verse just speaks to me in times of anxiousness. I love simple typography as wall art. It just speaks for itself. 

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You can print one off for yourself HERE. Please print for personal use only.

waiting.

March 20, 2014 at 9:28 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

This spring is just keeping us waiting. Waiting for the 5 foot snow heaps to be gone, waiting for the end of snowstorms, waiting for sunshine and longer days, but most importantly, waiting for our long expected baby!

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Our Cookie is having a baby!! It could happen anytime now so we are so anxious. The vet braved the snowstorm and did an ultrasound. Total excitement!!

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I’ll keep you up to date!

all dried up.

February 21, 2014 at 10:34 am | Posted in feed me!!, random revelations | Leave a comment
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I borrowed a dehydrator from a friend to see if I need one. I made raisins, banana chips and apple rings. While they are tasty, there are just some things that I’d rather buy. I have been enamored with making some of my own staple items, like yogurt and ricotta cheese.

I’m glad that I did it. I’m glad that I can. BUT- I keep thinking that for a couple of dollars more, I can buy some! The older I get, the more precious my time feels. I want to focus more on cooking the actual meals than the ingredients. Maybe someday I’ll get back to making everything from scratch but for now I’ll savor time with my darling, my babes and my horse!

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